Secret Wishes
by Toshiros-Snow-Demon
Summary: What have you done, Edward!- What happens when Edward get Multiple Personality Disorder, and what will be the outcome? Warning, get gruesome towards the end.


_WHY? I looked down at my hands. They were sodden with blood. Bella's blood. The one thing I told myself I could NEVER have, and yet I violated that one sacred rule. Now she was gone, and I was all alone... again..._

_I don't think I can ever forgive myself... No, Bella would forgive me, but I won't. By God, oh how lovely her blood smells. And how slick it feels on my tongue, like silk. Wait, WHAT AM I THINKING? This is BELLA you just killed, you MONSTER!_

_Yes, I know... I can smell her thick in the air. I mean, you did sever her arterie. STOP IT! WHO ARE YOU? GET OUT OF MY HEAD! Oh, but I'm you. Just a better, more vampiric version of you. I'm proud of who we are, and I'm not letting you lie to yourself anymore. You're not human, so the first thing to go was your HUMAN girlfriend. Next time, I'll show you what the village people taste like._

_NO!_

_

* * *

_

That was three months ago. Carlisle and the whole coven had to move because of my little "breakdown". I told him about what happened, and he diagnosed me with Multiple Personality Syndrome. My other person being a sadistic blood sucker who killed my beloved. I hated him.

I was on about three different medications for it, but none of them work. Go figure. I've been in a constant struggle with him. _He_ keeps attacking my mind, telling me to kill the lady beside me. I can't go outside anymore. The cravings are too intense. I mean, animal blood can stave me off, but it won't do a thing to quel his appetite. He's very agressive and doesn't give a damn on what happens to our body. He even attacked Rosaline. Luckily, Emette and Carlisle pinned me down.

I knew now that there was only one thing I could do.

I flew back to Forks.

Everything was different, which was odd considering that I had only been gone for a short while. I couldn't recognize anyone. No one recognized me.

Passing Bella's house was hard. It didn't look the same. The house looked like it had died. The paint was chipped, the mailbox was dented, the driveway was empty, and it was clear that no one had taken care of the yard for quite some time. I doubted anyone lived there. I couldn't smell Charlie.

"He left town after Bella died. Couldn't stand being in there with all of the memories. Didn't even bother to take the family photos."

"Jacob..."

"That's my name, Leech. And don't you dare speak it again."

So he did know I killed her. I thought to tell him that I had MPS, but I knew he wouldn't care. Besides, I wasn't here to clear my name.

" I have a favor to ask."

"I don't do favors for murderers.", he practically spat the words. At this rate, I wouldn't even have to ask him. But instead I walked away. Perhaps I could think of a better way. And so I flew to the Lair of the Voultourie.

I met with Aro and whispered me secret request in his ear. He shook his head, but I pressed his to say yes, and showed him my memories.

"I understand that you are suffering, but that is a request that I simply cannot fulfill. Please, instead, will you work with us?"

"No, I'm sorry."

But then_ he_ came out.

"Oh, but Edward, why would you want to do such a thing? I thought we were just starting to get along!"

"GET. OUT. OF. MY. HEAD!"

"Soon, you know you'll see that I'm right. You KNOW I'm right. You wanted her blood."

"I loved her!"

"As did I, Edward. As did I..."

I went back to Forks. The flight about killed me. There were so many people on board, and they smelled so good. It took every ounce of my strength not to feed, and that's how I knew I didn't have much time before he took over me completely.

I stood at the Sacred Line between Forks, and Werewolf territory. I knew it was stupid and dangerous, and that's exactly what I wanted. Quil came by, sensing my presence.

"What do you want, Bloodsucker?"

"Please, I need to speak to the Pack! It's urgent!"

He paused to think it over a second.

"Alright, it's your head." He lead me to Jacob's house. There was a large group of over-sized teens wrestling for space on the couch, but the all stopped when I walked in. Jacob glared at me.

"Outside. Now."

When everyone was gathered outside, I spoke up.

"I need your help with something." Jacob sneered.

"I told you before, I'm not doing you any favors!"

"Oh, but I think you'll like this one.

20 minutes later, they had a roaring bonfire going and a huge driftwood cross made. Somebody had made crude stakes with their claws.

"You ready?", Jacob asked.

"Yes..." My voice was barely above a whisper.

"NO!", screamed the voice in my head. "You can't do this!"

I simply replied, "It's your turn to hurt."

I laid down on the cross, and there was a 'wolf pinning down all of my limbs. Jacob walked over with a hammer and the stakes. One by one, he pounded them into my feet and hands. I could feel the bone splintering and the tendons being torn to shreds. I screamed in absolute horror and agony. My brain was too busy with the pain to let him threw.

Jacob and Quin grabbed the arms of the cross and pulled it to an upright position and slowly made their way to the fire. They tossed me into the middle of the inferno.

The pain! Oh, it was worst than vampire venom! I could feel my back blister and crack. I could hear the sizzle of my own flesh. I flailed uselessly, trying to get the stakes out.

"Please! Someone! Get me down! Get me out of here!" They just stood there and stared sullenly. I could feel my skin melt off, and it would land with a sickening 'PLOP'.

Then _he_ came along.

"You IDIOT! Get us down from here!"

"No." I barely managed to gasp.

I knew I was dying now. I could smell her. I could smell _Bella_. And with that, my eyes closed for the final time.

"That was for Bella." Jacob whispered.


End file.
